Life’s quite funny isn’t it?
Or actually, us human beings are.
Like me, right now, writing this post on the very first day of my 14 month journey to who knows where.
Having just left my amazing self-renovated self-decorated much loved house behind to intuitively travel the world, work on my blog, my business and my documentary. Hoping to learn more about human beings, be vulnerable and ask for help way more often than I’m used to and most of all grow and expand myself, my spirit and my soul along the way by stepping out of my comfort zone (which is my house).
And I’m sooo excited about it!
But yet…incredibly scared too…
And a bit annoyed because you’d think that once you’re over the hurdle of that first day, all your plans and intentions will come naturally, right?
That you’ll just ease into that planned discipline of meditation, running and yoga.
Just like the amazing intention to just eat non-processed foods and no sugars from today on out.
Let alone the bigger plans of being super proactive when it comes to approaching people for how it is to be you interviews and make little videos on how it is to be me every single day (I’m starting in August with that…).
It feels so clear and you know exactly what and what not to do and why you’re doing it (to be high on life energy and clarity and not so much on a continuous sugar rush for example) and yet, when today comes you’re still craving for chocolate and cookies…
We have this idea of a better self in mind when we make these types of intentions.
A better self we’ll simply turn into overnight and one we’ll not waver from.
Of course we won’t turn back into our old self who loves to just hang out on bed and watch tv shows whilst inhaling cheese.
Of course not, that’s no longer who we are if we make a decision and intention like that…
Noooo…we’re stronger than that!
What a big bunch of bollocks!!!
(Plus, it’s really nice to lie on bed all day inhaling cheese whilst bingewatching something on Netflix)
An intention is only a plan to do something. Meaning that unless someone puts a gun to your head every time you grab for the cookies, you’ll still have every opportunity to not live up to that intention.
So then what?
We can’t just give up on that better self…but we don’t want to get discouraged every time we fall of the intentionwagon…
And we definitely don’t want to feel judged by others and ourselves when we wallow in a phase that is less healthy or productive or whatever.
And lastly, we don’t, I repeat, we don’t, want to feel jealous or envious of all those seemingly pretty, healthy, happy, exercising and successful people we see on whatever social medium we open.
So we deal with it!
Here’s what works for me:
1. It all starts with a vision
An intention is just a fragment of a vision.
Having a vision for your health and your life is where all things begin.
In the example of wanting to eat all healthy, my vision is something like wanting to feel fit and light, to always be as healthy as possible, to be able to wear those jeans that have been lying in the back of your closet for years now and to not diffuse your body and mind with crappy stuff so that you’ve got all the clarity and energy you need to live your life’s purpose.
Something like that anyway.
It is what lies ahead when you move forward and circle upward. It is what you strive for and everything you do in life and work will lead you in that direction.
(Check out the Vision Guide btw if you feel like this goes a bit over your head. You can get it by clicking the top box in the sidebar on the right or the box at the end of this post)
2. The vision needs to be engrained in your heart
The thing with vision is that it’s pretty useless if it’s just a thing that you think you must do or be.
This is your heart’s and your life’s purpose and it is supposed to be felt, not thought.
Now don’t get all upset when your vision is NOT wanting to dominate the world (great stuff by chris Guillebeau behind this link btw) or make a million dollars a year or walk on the moon (or like my vision; wanting to achieve world peace in this lifetime). We’re all different, with different hearts, different life’s and therefore different visions.
To live a long, happy and healthy life with a beautiful family and friends is equally as beautiful and worth striving for (and potentially just as difficult) as the more ‘out there’ visions.
3. Don’t obsess over not being there (yet)
Your vision is an ever evolving, growing and changing opaque future state of being, not a clear goal to achieve as soon as possible.
It’s okay to not be there just yet.
And it’s okay if you change your mind and heart over time.
That’s what we humans do.
The vision is there to guide you in the right direction, not to force you into a dogma.
So don’t obsess okay?
It’s all okay!
4. Understand the boundaries of what’s acceptable
I always perceive the road towards my vision as a big funnel.
With an ideal straight line from where I am right now and but mainly lots of leeway to give me room for ups and downs and sideroads and for those times where I forget what’s going on and completely lose myself in life.
Meaning that there’s room to let life (and the occasional shit in it) just happen.
But it also means that there are boundaries to what is acceptable.
That even when you allow yourself all the room you need to investigate and learn and make mistakes, there will come a point where you’ll find that you (or someone else) have crossed the acceptability boundary.
For example when you no longer even fit in your ‘big pants’.
Or when you’ve (accidentally) hurt someone else.
Call it a miniature rock bottom. A point of no return.
And that’s the point where everything in you will scream: “HELL NO!”
And that’s where change really happens.
Where there’s no effort to not grab for those cookies or go outside for a run or apologise to whoever for whatever wrong you did.
No effort at all, because this is not just an intention, a want, a headthing.
This is your gut and your heart and every fibre of your being not agreeing with something that is not in line with your life’s vision.
This is it.
5. Trust the process
Cheesy but true.
If you put your vision out there.
If you allow yourself to walk in that direction but give yourself space to explore other paths as well.
If you’re ready to say no to that what is no longer working for you.
Then you’ll get there.
It might take more time than you’d initially like, but you’ll get there.
Trust the process and most of all, trust yourself!
And as for me, I’m trusting myself too.
I trust that there will come a point where I can just walk past the triple chocolate cookies in the supermarket.
And that I will no longer cheat on my yogamat by skipping postures or speeding them up.
And that I will dare to ‘out’ myself on my blog and in my videos because that’s my vision.
To be healthy and open and honest and vulnerable and through that inspire and help others to do the same.
Because hiding behind the things I think I should do and hiding behind behaviour and words that are just socially acceptable but not entirely me is seriously no longer acceptable to me.
So what other option do I have than to move forward from that?