Ever get hyperobsessed with something?
As in, the kind of obsession where you’re just not able to drop the habit no matter how bad you know it is for you?
I do…and way more often than I’d like to admit…
For the past couple of weeks (and almost the whole of last year), my obsession has been all about social media likes and shares and blog subscriptions.
And it’s as bad as me checking all the social media apps and emails as soon as I wake up.
And even though I’ve got this morning yoga and meditation routine going on, I’m totally messing it up with this really bad habit.
Because I even do some quick answers to emails and Facebook messages whilst brushing my teeth AND often check for updates between the yoga and meditation…yeez Linda…
For you…it might be something else entirely…
Like that girl or guy you dated twice now and who might or might not be that into you (so you’re constantly checking Whatsapp to see if he/she’s online and if so why they haven’t replied to you yet…).
Or that manager or co-worker that you’re sure doesn’t like you very much (so you’re always on edge and mentally preparing for the next big discussion…).
Or what your 16 year old is doing at that sleepover (and you’re worried that you’ll either have to pick her up from the hospital or find her on a pornsite someday…).
Whatever the obsession…it’s not a very ‘fun and in the moment’ state of being now is it?
I’ve totally had it with my relentless phone checking and dived into this concept to see what can be done about it:
1. Know That It’s Rooted In Emotions
Even though they end up in our head as insane crazy monkey thoughts, obsession is always firmly rooted in our emotions.
For my current obsession it’s the need to be liked, and loved and seen and appreciated for who I am and what I do (and not just wanting to have a successful blog asap).
For the mother waiting for her daughter it is probably pure fear for her daughter’s life and a fear that she may have failed in her duties of raising a responsible child.
At work, when your manager doesn’t like you, you’ll not only deal with the fact that you’ll feel unseen and unappreciated, there’s also the constant threat of losing your job.
And even though we might all very well know that our identities do not depend on a popular Facebook page for example, we’ve apparently not yet linked that to the actual realisation of that fact into our hearts and consciousness.
2. Really Understand That This Is A Problem
For me, it takes up too much time in my day and way too much space in my head.
But apart from this, it takes away from my sense of being me, and being here and now and being content with what there is and isn’t.
The answers or insights to your obsession never give you any satisfaction because there’s nothing to be satisfied here. It’s a core desire that we’re trying to patch up with something external.
And that means that for as long as you’re obsessed, you’ll never be content with where you’re at and what you have and that you’ll always keep running after something that will never give you the closure you so much want.
To be obsessed is to be unfree…it’s like being stuck in a prison in which your thoughts are the prison guards.
And that can’t be acceptable!
3. Make A Freakin’ Decision (And Tell The World)
And this should not be a spur of the moment ‘oh yeah, I’ll stop doing this tomorrow’ type of thing, it should be a hardcore decision that stands like a house and is part of every fiber of your being.
The decision is you shouting from the rooftops (or any social medium of your choice of course).
It is you proclaiming:
“I am NOT going to keep obsessing over [insert the topic of your obsession here] and I’m going to QUIT [insert your obsessive behaviour here].
No longer will I let my thoughts rule my freedom and no longer will I let those emotions sit there unnoticed and unloved.
For I am stronger than my prison guards and I don’t need external affirmation to know that I am whole and complete. Just as I am.”
Mix up the words to make it fit your own scenario, sing a song, burn a candle, do whatever feels right for you but remember; this is the message you should tell the world and most importantly, yourself!
4. Solve The Root Cause By Doing The Work
There are loads of little tips and tricks out there that can make us stop this obsessive behaviour and thoughts for a little while.
For example, I could hand over my phone and iPad to a friend who lives close by for the day and fire up the ‘Self Control’ app to make sure it’s almost impossible to check all my statuses every 3 minutes.
But that wouldn’t get rid of those underlying emotions would it?
In fact, if I were to do only that and not work on those emotions, I would just have found another way of suppressing them…meaning they’ll pop up at another time for sure.
And usually, they pop up at less and less convenient times and places…
So yes, I should hide my phone but that’s only secondary to what I really need to do; and that is to take (yet another) look inside and figure out what bit of yourself needs a whole lot more love and self-care.
And yes, you’ve probably gone over this a million times before and done loads of inner work already so why oh why would you go back there again?
Because of the simple fact that you’re behaving like an mad(wo)man and it ain’t good for nobody.
So get over yourself and do whatever it takes:
- Talk to a therapist/coach/friend
- Start journaling around this
- Do meditations aimed at self-love
- Confront your inner demons by doing what you fear most (around this obsession that is, no need to go lie in a snake pit if there’s no obvious relation)
- Simply have an open and honest talk with the object of your obsession
It’s simple, you gotta do the work!
And as for me, I’ve checked my Facebook status at least 20 times whilst writing this post…and I’m sick of myself for doing so!
I even get obsessed over the fact that I am this obsessed…
So I hereby proclaim: NO MORE!
Are you dealing with an obsession right now? Come join me and say NOOOOOO!!!
And let’s have a laugh about it over tea and cookies someday!