About Linda.
A few years into my career as a corporate business consultant, I bumped headfirst into a wall with a flashy neon sign that may have permanently imprinted on my retinas by repeatedly blinking the question: “Is this everything?”
I had the health. The house. The car. The career I enjoyed. The relationships. The fun. I had everything. And yet, there was no denying the existential black hole in my soul.
But where to go? What to do? How to find it? And Holy Hell!
Step one, I figured, was to get rid of what was not working in my life. Uncomfortable but so effective that it’s become part of my life’s philosophy.
Step two was to figure out what I did want because, slowly, a sense of blurry, vaporous, and out-of-reach purpose was taking shape. So I continued working on freelance consulting projects to keep my intellect stimulated and my mortgage paid and frantically grabbed hold of anything else I could find.
I solo-traveled to 46 countries. Taught two types of yoga. Volunteered on several social projects. Studied the metaphysical concept of meaningful relations. Helped co-found a sustainable startup. Painted abstracts and photographed impressions. Created a business called ‘From Startup to Growup’. Traveled around Europe for a year and made portraits of people around the question: “How is it to be you?” I even spent some time on the thought experiment “How to make world peace possible?”
None of these initiatives solved my existential puzzle though. None of them were it. Not until the lightning strike idea for CONTRAST hit me. When the novel was written…the world’s weight lifted and my soul’s unrest quieted. So much so that I would have been perfectly content letting the book simply sit on its little Google cloud. Getting it written was the purpose and I was fulfilled.
Right now, I’m continuing the momentum of my life. By publishing the book and converting my experiences and insights into stories, I hope to add my two cents to raising the collective consciousness of the world.
The origin story of CONTRAST.
The question came to me when I was loudly cursing the shoes on my feet and wondering if I should continue the solo hike along the coast of Normandy barefoot:
‘How is it to be you?’
At that moment, it sucked to be me. A lift and drive to Bruges and a meal consisting of cheese and chocolate in front of my tiny hiking tent later, it wasn’t too bad at all.
The question stuck with me. Because I knew how it was to be me, but had no clue if that was similar to being someone else. It had never felt that way at least…so I rented out my house, got in my car, and drove around Europe asking the question to dozens of people. Some I documented. Most I did not.
The ‘experiment’ taught me many things. Mostly, no matter what we look like, where we live, or what our backgrounds are, in the end, we are all the same:
The same basic DNA, and the same physical, emotional, and spiritual struggles.
The same need for love, understanding, and meaning.
And that we all have our own paths to pave to figure this out.
Though I still feel like I’m not in the dimension I’m from, it also taught me that the power of intent, keeping an open heart and mind, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable enables you to have a meaningful conversation with every person on the planet.
The year of this trip was also the one when the Syrian refugee crisis was at a peak and when violent attacks terrorized usually peaceful cities. It meant being confronted by men with heavy weaponry patrolling metro stations while on my way to a museum and passing families of refugees by the side of the road while I had just frolicked in fields of sunflowers. Extravagant levels of beauty and unconscionable depths of pain. The contrast was unbearable…
I spent two months on the island of Lesbos, in part to help the local community rebuild after the inflow of refugees and the accompanying assault of bad media. Because I’m often lucky with these things, I got to stay in a beautiful cottage overlooking the ocean. Turkey in the distance. A medieval castle ruin on a hill nearby. And an infinity pool to swim my daily sunset laps while dolphins played right beside me. More beauty alongside more pain.
It was then, in that pool and during those laps, that the idea for CONTRAST hit me like lightning.
Photography.
Both my writing and photography force me to look inward. To uncover the shadows, the frictions, and the shame. They have unveiled an inner beauty I don't dare admit to, released a new level of empowered femininity, and helped me find meaning in the mundane.
There are other layers to the self-portraits too, because initially they felt like a vanity. They made me feel less like a serious author of philosophical fiction and more like a wannabe Instagram model. I mean, Simone de Beauvoir would never... And besides, we all know I'm not photogenic enough. Nor skinny enough. Nor young enough... The portraits force me to break through the preconceived notions and patterns of how I see myself. And they help heal that young girl who came of age in the era of 'heroin chic' and who is only now shedding the idea of having to be that too.
Ultimately, this journey of self-discovery is what I wish to inspire in readers and observers. To wonder what is holding them back and what could push them forward. If anything, I hope to help people recognize the universal themes that bind us—love, loss, resilience, and the pursuit of meaning.
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